The Promised Land

(parody of "America" from West Side Story)
New lyrics by Mike Fischer

The Story: I was listening to some Leonard Bernstein music, minding my own business, when the idea for this one leaped at me, demanding fulfillment. The Israelites' stubborn refusal to obey the Lord in the wilderness, no matter how many wonders He performed for them, boggles the mind. But would we really have done any better if we'd been there? This version is from the movie, not the Broadway production.

Moses (intro:):
Land of Egypt, we've been delivered.
Never go back to that river.
Always the people were groaning;
When I first came, you're nearly stoning.
Once again, you're moaning
'Bout the land you're deeming
Bad, and now you're scheming:
"We like the kingdom of Pharaoh.
"Let's go back, straight as an arrow!"

Moses: You ought to be in the Promised Land.
Crossed the Red Sea for the Promised Land.
Enemies flee in the Promised Land.
God set us free for the Promised Land.

People: We had it good by the big Nile.
Joshua: Same place that you used to revile?
People: Plenty of water and food there.
Caleb: "God, set us free!" was your heart's prayer!

People: We like the land of the Pyramids!
Moses: Where they enslaved you and killed your kids?
People: If we go on, we will hit the skids.
Moses: Going back there is what God forbids!

People: We'd rather go back to the Nile.
Joshua: Now the Egyptians are hostile.
People: Now we're out here in a wasteland!
Caleb: Safe in the shadow of God's hand!

Moses: God brought us right to the Promised Land!
People: We're full of fright at the Promised Land!
Moses: We'll win the fight for the Promised Land!
People: Giants have height in the Promised Land!

People: It's a good land, but we're too small!
Joshua: Trust in the Lord and we'll claim all!
People: Better back there than to die here!
Caleb: God will be with us, so don't fear!

Moses: Follow the Lord to the Promised Land!
People: Canaanite hordes in the Promised Land!
Moses: There's a reward in the Promised Land!
People: Die by the sword in the Promised Land!

People: What about Jericho's big wall?
Joshua: I have a feeling it will fall!
People: We want the onions and the leeks!
Caleb: Don't disobey when the Lord speaks!

Moses: Oh, how you'll dine in the Promised Land!
People: We've got no spine for the Promised Land!
Moses: Things will be fine in the Promised Land!
People: We are declining the Promised Land!

Back to the Parodies Page