Televangelist

(parody of "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits)
New lyrics by Mike Fischer

The Story: Greaseball televangelists are an easy target for a parodist. But somebody has to do it, or they'll keep multiplying, jamming the airwaves with false teachings and pleas for donations. Guys, ditch the hair spray and study your Bibles, please!


Look at the preacher, that's the way they do it,
Prophesying on the cable TV.
That ain't Gospel, but that's the way they do it,
Getting money for nothing, cashing checks for free.

Call that preaching? That's the way they do it.
They ain't wise, but they sure ain't dumb.
Maybe counting money gives them sore fingers.
Maybe thumping Bibles gives a sore thumb.

Chorus:
We're supposed to preach the word of repentance,
Not this phony deliverance.
We're supposed to speak of the cross of Jesus.
We're supposed to preach "by mercy set free."

See the humble prophet with the white suit and the necktie,
A pound of hair spray in his hair.
The humble prophet, he's been fleecing his hearers.
The humble prophet, he's a millionaire.

chorus

He never learned to pray and study.
He never learned to believe the Word.
Look at his wife with the Tammy Faye makeup.
She ain't his first wife, prob'ly his third.

And he's up there, what's that? A word of faith now?
Send in your money, get prosperity.
That ain't right, but that's the way they do it,
Getting money for nothing, cashing checks for free.

chorus

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