Rainy-Day Evangelists #12 & 35

(parody of "Rainy-Day Women #12 & 35" by Bob Dylan)
New lyrics by Mike Fischer

The Story: God calls some to be evangelists, but some seem to call themselves, and their excesses give the genuine article a bad name. This is one of the first parodies I ever wrote.


I'll save you 'cause it makes me feel so good.
I'll save you just like I said I would.
I'll save you with my trusty King James.
I'll save you though I do not know your name.
'Cause that's the great commission Jesus gave.
Everybody must get saved!

I'll save you when I read the Romans Road.
I'll save you so He'll take your heavy load.
I'll save you while you're reading the Four Laws.
I'll save you so He'll fix all of your flaws.
Even though you need a haircut and a shave,
Everybody must get saved!

I'll save you when I'm preaching very well.
I'll save you 'cause you're scared of going to Hell.
I'll save you when I'm taking my best shot.
I'll save you whether you believe or not.
You'll get convicted when I rant and rave.
Everybody must get saved!

I'll save you when I point you to your Maker.
I'll save you when I quote from Jim Bakker.
I'll save you with words as sweet as honey.
I'll save you, then I'll say, "God needs your money."
God's approval is what I crave.
Everybody must get saved!

I'll save you with an endless list of rules.
I'll save you while I'm calling you a fool.
I'll save you with an anti-Catholic tract.
I'll save you wondering why you don't come back.
'Cause to my church's doctrine, I'm a slave.
Everybody must get saved!

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