Praise God I'm a Fundie Boy

(parody of "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" by John Denver)
New lyrics by Mike Fischer

The Story: My first church was an ultra-fundamentalist King James Only Baptist church, and I'm grateful for the time I spent there. I learned to love and respect God's Word in a way that many other churches just don't teach. But the legalism became utterly stifling. Now that I've learned what the Word says about believers' freedom, I don't think I could belong to a church like that again.


When you come and get saved at an altar call
Where the pastor preaches with a down-home drawl,
You gotta keep the rules so your soul won't fall.
Praise God I'm a fundie-boy.

I've been washed in the blood, been immersion baptized,
But that's not enough to keep me right in God's eyes.
The Lord wants to see me in a jacket and a tie.
Praise God I'm a fundie-boy.

Chorus:
Other Christians say they're going to Heaven
But the devil's got their lives all filled up with leaven.
They don't read the King James 1611 —
Praise God I'm a fundie-boy.

Now the works don't save, but we gotta have rules
To help us tell apart the wise from the fools
And help us get to Heaven with a crown full of jewels.
Praise God I'm a fundie-boy.

Now I'd read King James all day if I could
But the old words I don't understand very good,
So I listen to the sermon, "Amen" when I should.
Praise God I'm a fundie-boy.

chorus
Solo (melody of "Amazing Grace")

Down in church last week, we had a hootin' and a holler.
We all the way but some fella wouldn't foller.
His hair was touchin' his ears and his collar —
Praise God I'm a fundie-boy.

We got all kinda rules, some are easy, some hard.
I can't go to movies and I can't play cards.
My wife wears a long skirt workin' in the yard.
Praise God I'm a fundie-boy.

chorus
Solo (melody of "Are You Washed in the Blood?")

Missionaries go out to preach to the nations.
All they're gonna get is tears and frustrations
As long as they're using them modern translations —
Praise God I'm a fundie-boy.

If you keep all the rules, we'll be real glad to see ya,
But don't go thinkin' Christ died just to free ya.
You'll get about as far with an Ave Maria —
(shouted) Whoo! That's right, amen, preach it! Praise God I'm a fundie-boy!

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